stop breathing
by ohwhatsherface
Summary: Team Seven, back when they were still cute. And sane. And not totally failing. Or fainting. 14. "So should we call you Nasuke or Sasuto?"
1. the one where sakura suffocates naruto

**title:** sakura tries to kill naruto  
**author:** ohwhatsherface  
**characters: **Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi  
**note:** If by any chance you stalk my writing journal, you'll know this is sort of a re-post. Sort of. Anyway, this is the start of an anthology of little Team Seven (I'd say 'genin' but Naruto and Sasuke still are). As in when they were still cute. And when it was _Team Seven_, not _The Epic Bromance That Is NaruSasu_.  
**disclaimer:** Don't own. Duh.

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"So," Kakashi drawled, idly flipping to the next page of his book, "is someone going to tell me what happened?"

Standing in front of him were Naruto and Sakura, looking frantic and a bit guilty respectively. Naruto's arms were flailing about as he tried to express with words what had happened. Sakura, on the other hand, had her arms crossed and was tapping her foot, frustrated. Sasuke was leaning against the wall, not getting involved with the situation.

"Anyone?" Kakashi prompted.

"I did nothing wrong." Naruto and Sakura both cast Sasuke annoyed looks of _back off_.

Kakashi turned the page. "Yes, yes, Sasuke, we know you had nothing to do with—"

"SAKURA-CHAN _TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME_."

"WHAT?!" Sakura glared at Naruto, while her jaw dropped in utter disgust. "You make it sound like I _molested_ you."

Naruto briefly pouted back at her before looked at Kakashi, pointing at Sakura accusingly. "I KID YOU NOT, SENSEI—"

"OKAY—I tried to smother Naruto." Sakura's lips her pursed and her fists were clenched. "He was—I..." She sighed, defeated. "Yeah. Okay. I'm not going to lie. I fully tried to murder Naruto."

Kakashi seemed amused.

Sakura grabbed Naruto's finger and twisted it painfully. "I did _not_, however, take advantage of this _idiot_."

"Then why did you try to kill him?" Sasuke inquired, a bit enraptured—secretly, of course—by this more _evil_ side of Sakura.

Kakashi nodded. "Yes." His single eye seemed to reflect disappointment in her. "I would've expected this from Sasuke, but not you, Sakura," he said sadly.

Briefly, Sakura contemplated turning this situation around and getting the attention away from what her teammates were most likely dubbing her 'homicidal tendencies'. She could easily pout and ask Kakashi why he didn't expect _her_ to attempt murder on Naruto. Really, that was just _unfair_! Was she not good enough or something?! She really should've.

But she didn't.

"He wouldn't shut up!" Sakura cried hysterically. "If he wasn't rolling around and flailing, then he was snoring loud enough to shake the inn, and then if he wasn't doing _that_, then he was _talking_. TALKING." She tucked her hair behind her ears mostly as a way to keep her hands busy (and away from Naruto's throat). "He was _sleep talking_, Kakashi-sensei. About _ramen_. And it was _creepy_. AND LOUD. AND ANNOYING." Sakura pulled at her hair. "Kakashi-sensei, I _had_ to do it!" she whimpered, looking at him pleadingly.

At her glassy eyes, Kakashi sighed. If he just said "okay" and went back to his room, leaving the little genin on their own, Sakura was surely going to try killing Naruto again. And it wasn't like Sasuke was going to defend the blond, so there was only one other option.

"Alright, Sakura, you can sleep in my room. I'll stay here with the boys," Kakashi said, sounding a bit defeated.

"R—_really_, sensei?" she asked. The shock and hope on her face almost made him feel _guilty_ for making her room with Naruto and Sasuke, something he certainly shouldn't have felt guilty about. "I can have a room all to myself?"

"...yes."

"Oh, thank you so much, Kakashi-sensei!" Smiling widely, Sakura grabbed her bag and ran into the bedroom that had _formerly_ been Kakashi's, shutting the door behind her.

When they heard the lock turn, Sasuke scowled at Kakashi. "You realize that she was faking it, right?"

Kakashi turned to him. "Hm?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Sakura's slept through Naruto's snoring before, Kakashi." He cast the blond a dirty look. "We _all_ have, actually. She just wanted your room."

As Naruto snorted at how he 'just got totally _pwned'_, Kakashi looked at the closed door and sighed.

That conniving little bitch—

Er, that _sweet little girl_ was going to make a great kunoichi one day.

-

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**You can tell it's fiction when Kakashi notices Sakura has mad skills. :D  
OKAY SORRY. I know I make bashes at Kakashi and Naruto and Sasuke a lot.**


	2. the one where the boys are seasick

**title:** the one where sasuke gets seasick  
**author:** ohwhatsherface  
**note:** this one has minor, barely noticeable sasusaku  
**disclaimer: **don't own

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Sasuke was not very fond of being out on the sea. He had always loved swimming when he was a child; his mother would take him and Itachi out to the lake at the edge of the Uchiha complex and they'd spent many afternoons there under the sun. So no, Sasuke didn't mind the water. It was actually being on top of it—on _the rocking boat—_that was annoying. And boring. And sickening.

_Very _sickening.

"Oi, bastard, you don't look too good," Naruto commented, frowning at him. For once in their few months together as a team, there was no mockery in his tone. Instead, oddly enough, there was a trace of concern. "You okay?"

Sasuke scowled back at him. "Of course I'm okay, idiot."

Naruto returned the dirty look. "Fine." He crossed his arms and began to walk away to another part of the boat. "Jeez, you _try_ being nice to that guy..."

Sasuke drowned him out in favour of leaning over the side of the ship and breathing in _the nasty salty air_.

Ugh.

He hated Naruto. And Kakashi. And this stupid mission _so_ freaking far away. And the stupid boat—

"Sasuke-kun, are you feeling alright?"

And _Sakura_.

Sasuke clenched his fists. Of all annoying things, Sakura was not one he could deal with right now. He took a deep breath, trying to refrain from telling her to _kindly get the hell out of his face_ (and also keep the churning in his stomach at bay). It wouldn't do to make her cry. That would send Naruto on him and that... well he couldn't deal with that while he was sick. Just. No.

"Sasuke-kun," she prodded, peering into his Personal Space. Sakura put a hand on his forehead and frowned while Sasuke flinched at the contact. "Sasuke-kun are you..." Slowly, shyly, she smiled and continued in a whisper, "_seasick_?"

"_No._"

Her grin only grew.

_Damn_, Sasuke lamented. Great. Now she knew his weakness. It wasn't _his_ fault, really. It was his first time on such a big ship! And for so long, too! God, falling asleep last night had been dreadful. Sure, it was probably Naruto's and Sakura's first times as well, but the idiot _obviously_ had a stomach of steel. And Sakura was just... Hm. Maybe it was a girl thing. Whatever.

_She's going to blackmail me_, Sasuke concluded. _She's going to make me take her on a date in exchange for not telling_—

"Here." Sasuke blinked as she held a small pink bottle to him and smiled warmly. "It helps with motion sickness." She looked behind her momentarily and winked. "I had to give some to Naruto earlier as well, so don't feel too ashamed, Sasuke-kun."

Slowly, he took the medicine from her. He felt his cheeks growing flushed and wondered if it was because he was sick. Probably. What else could it be?

"Well..." Sakura shifted awkwardly. "Yeah. I'm going to go..." She was looking at her feet uncomfortably. "Well, I hope you feel better, Sasuke-kun!"

"Thank you," Sasuke murmured, watching her walk away.

-

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**Oops. This seemed to end angstily. **


	3. the one with the porn

**title:** the one with the porn  
**author:** ohwhatsherface  
**note:** I went to my community to check for updates and saw that my archive number went down. Why? Because Schon, by angel-puppeteer, has been deleted. WHY IS THE SMUT GONE?  
**disclaimer:** disclaimed.

Also, thanks for the reviews! :D

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Kakashi was not pleased.

He was not pleased _at all_.

"Okay, _kiddies_," Kakashi began, losing the humorous drawl he usually used with his little genin, "give it back now and no one gets hurt." The three had the gall to stare back as if they had no clue what he was talk about. Kakashi bristled and narrowed his lone visible eye. "I said _now_."

"Give what back, sensei?" Sakura asked. Kakashi stared at her suspiciously. Her head was tilted, as though was examining something. Her lips were pursed and her eyebrows were raised. She looked like some curious little girl being lectured to about something she didn't understand in the least.

Tch.

"You _know_ what I am talking about," Kakashi replied tersely.

Sakura's mouth opened into an o-shape. "What? But, Kakashi-sensei, we don't know—"

He held up a hand. "Sakura, the innocent act will not work on me." (Apparently only the I'm-about-to-cry-so-do-as-I-say one did, if that mission a few weeks ago said anything.) Her cheeks turned pink when she realized she'd been caught. She opened her mouth, most likely to protest, but did the wise thing and said nothing instead. Kakashi smiled. "Good girl." He might have patted her on the head had she not undergone a rapid mood swing, judging by that scowl and the way she looked ready to bite his hand off if it neared.

Or, more importantly, _if his porn wasn't missing_.

"Now, back to the matter at hand—"

"Sasuke did it."

Both the boy in question and Sakura looked at over at Naruto, who made his accusation so breezily and uncaringly. Naruto shrugged off their gazes and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"We don't even know what Kakashi-sensei is talking about," Sakura pointed out, using the shut-up-_now_ voice.

"_Icha Icha_," Kakashi said. "One of you—or all of you—stole my book."

"Oh." Naruto looked thoughtful for a moment. He spared Sasuke a glance before repeating, "Sasuke did it."

"I did _not_," Sasuke indignantly denied. "Why would I steal _porn_?" He looked at Kakashi with utter disgust written all over his face. "_Your_ porn, at that."

Sakura nodded. "Yeah. Who knows what you've done with it?"

"Oh, man, ew!" Naruto suddenly shouted. He covered his eyes, as if he could see in front of him whatever he was picturing in his head. "Oh, _god_!"

Kakashi frowned when the three shared similar looks of disgust. He prepared to defend himself but Sasuke spoke.

"Really, Kakashi, don't blame _us_ if you lose your _porn_."

The tone the boy was using didn't sit too well with Kakashi. All of them, actually. They all said "porn" like it was some sort of disease!

Brats.

"I did not lose my _erotic literature_," Kakashi said calmly, though, inside, he was most likely deciding which one to kill first. "I am an elite jounin, Sasuke-chan. I don't _lose_ stuff."

Naruto grinned. "Yeah, you just let them get stolen by genin! Nice going, Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Ah, so you admit you stole it?"

A shiver ran down Naruto's spine as Sasuke and Sakura sent withering stares his way. Naruto cringed, hearing a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Sasuke tell him he was freaking moron, and one like Sakura's that promised death. "Oh, crap."

"Indeed." Kakashi leaned forward, taking pride in the fact that the three backed up a fraction. It was nice to know they still feared him _somewhat_. "Now," he drawled, smiling. "Which one of you little brats has my book—"

"Sasuke did it."

Kakashi blinked. Unlike last time, this accusation had come from _Sakura_. She was looking down, playing with the hem of her dress and shifting her weight from one foot to the other. When she finally did raise her head and glanced at Naruto and Sasuke, she winced and turned away guiltily. Kakashi narrowed his eyes in suspicion. On one hand, she was telling the truth and felt guilty for turning in the boy she had a crush on. If anything, Sakura was smart, Kakashi had gathered in the time he spent as her sensei. If both she and Naruto admitted that Sasuke was the one who stole the porn, it was most likely the truth.

But on the other hand...

_She might just be letting Sasuke take the fall for all of them_, Kakashi theorized. He looked at Sasuke, who seemed equally livid and shocked, and Naruto, who was simply surprised by Sakura's words.

"So _Sasuke_ stole my book, hm?" Kakashi asked, staring at the boy in question. In return, he glared, and Sakura and Naruto nodded eagerly.

Kakashi considered punishing them for a complete lack of teamwork. Or something. Really, it would not do to teach them it was okay to give up one teammate so that the other two could get away unscathed. What the heck had these kids learned from him?

"Do you have anything to say, Sasuke?"

Sasuke scowled and raised his chin. It seemed that denying and begging to be believed was beneath him.

"I see." Kakashi sighed heavily and took a firm grip on Sasuke's shoulder. "I hope you're ready for your punishment then, Sasuke."

_Bring it on_, the boy seemed to say. At the telltale signs of a suppressed smirk (and, more importantly, complete, utter lack of respect), something in Kakashi bristled. That little shit—er, _Sasuke_ was going down.

Kakashi smiled.

_All of them_ were.

"Well then, has anyone taught you guys about sex?"

-

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	4. the one where the boys are girls

**title:** the one where the boys are girls  
**author:** ohwhatsherface  
**note:** Purely lulz. Um, if you guys want, I can continue this. I mean, if how it was done isn't too difficult to understand. I can continue in Sakura's POV or I can try as the boys. Just tell me what you all think. And yep, definitely inspired by gabzillaz's weekly summaries. THOSE are gold. :D  
**disclaimer:** do not own

* * *

- Naruto is an idiot.  
- And obnoxious.  
- Naruto: "C-RANK? GIVE ME SOMETHING REAL, OLD MAN, FOR I AM (INSERT INANE BABBLING HERE) AND I NEED A _REAL MISSION_."  
- Hokage-sama: "Fine. I have one for you."  
- ...that evil smile is evil.  
- Hello thar, hilarious mission! :D  
- Okay so apparently there is this creepy PedoBear lurking up north preying on blonde, blue-eyed girls. Hokage-sama was originally going to send Team 10 (for Ino) to lure the bastard out, but Naruto just _had_ to open his mouth.  
- WHAT'S THIS? HE LIKES THEM DARK-HAIRED, TOO? 8D  
- Kakashi-sensei: (to me) "Sakura-chan, take the boys shopping please?" (to Naruto and Sasuke-kun) "Think of this as training, boys.... girls?"  
- Oh, Kakashi-sensei, that was just _cruel_.  
- I love it.  
- I take back what I said the other day about Kakashi-sensei being the crappiest teacher on the planet with a sick, twisted porn addiction to cover up the fact that he can't get close to people, namely females, which is why he doesn't teach me shit.  
- No, really. I do!  
- _REALLY_!  
- Sasuke-kun needs a tan.  
- No, Naruto. Suit you a bubble dress _does not_.  
- _Especially_ an orange one.  
- I take back taking back what I said a few lines ago. I _hate_ Kakashi-sensei. He has turned me against my One True Love.  
- Screw you, I meant _shopping_. Who cares about Sasuke Uchiha when there are _half off boots on sale_?!  
- So we decided it would be cheaper (and less time consuming) to just buy a few things that can be mixed and matched and the boys can share them.  
- Long walks are long.  
- Like Naruto's attention span. Except like, you know, not.  
- Naruto is an idiot.  
- And whiny.  
- Sasuke-kun: "Naruto, shut the hell up already."  
- Naruto: "..._you_ shut up, bastard!"  
- Oh, real smooth, Naruto. Really. Where do you learn these amazing comebacks?  
- Kakashi-sensei: "Okay, you little shits, let's check into the inn. Sakura, can you do their make up and dress them?"  
- Me: "Why can't they dress themselves?"  
- Kakashi-sensei just gave me The Look we all give Naruto (read: Are You Effin' Retarded?). Aw. Oops.  
- Naruto: "AND THEN WE'RE GONNA GO LURE OUT WHATEVER-HIS-FACE-IS AND KICK HIS ASS AND (INSERT FURTHER STUPIDITY HERE) AND STUFF?"  
- Kakashi-sensei: "No."  
- Oh. That's great. Let's _waste_ make up. And time. And effort. Ugh. KAKASHI-SENSEI DOES NOT SEEM TO KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO PUT MAKE UP ON A MORON (NARUTO) WHO _MOVES_ EVERY TWO FREAKING SECONDS.  
- Sasuke-kun: "...you're going to make us put on drags for no reason?"  
- ..._that_ evil smile is _evil_.  
- Kakashi-sensei: "Of course there's a reason."  
- OHRLYNAO?  
- Kakashi-sensei: "Look underneath the underneath and you'll find it." :D  
- Believe it.  
- Okay, seriously, I've tried. Many times. I see nothing. Seriously, that answer is getting a little too convenient for Kakashi-sensei. Ugh.  
- OH. OKAY. I SEE NOW. KAKASHI-SENSEI IS JUST BEING CRUEL. THAT'S... SORT OF HORRIBLE. 8D  
- Oh, Kakashi-sensei, that was just _cruel_.  
- I love it.  
- I don't think I should be laughing.  
- I take back saying I hated Kakashi-sensei. He _rocks_.  
- Me: "Ne, Sasuke-kun, do you want the boots or the stilettos?" 8D

**

* * *

**

SEE I WAS NICE TO KAKASHI THIS TIME.  
Just, you know, mean to Naruto and Sasuke. :D


	5. the one with all the leaves

**title:** the one with all the leaves  
**author:** ohwhatsherface  
**note:** OMG THE MANGA FINALLY STOPPED BEING TOTALLY BORING! 8D  
**disclaimer:** i do not own naruto

* * *

Naturally, there were a lot of leaves in Konoha. A lot. And when autumn came around, most of those leaves were on the ground, which meant a surplus in D-rank (so-called) missions of _raking_ given to some poor, unfortunate genin squads.

Thus, with the combined luck (or the lack there of) of the three male members of Team Seven, it wasn't particularly surprising when the Sandaime assigned them to one of the biggest yards in Konoha.

"When I'm Hokage," Naruto began sullenly, "no ninja will ever have to rake again!" He probably would have sworn a blood oath if his arms weren't so sore.

Kakashi looked away from his book. "But then what will you do about the leaves?"

Naruto stood still and stared up to the sky as he thought of a reply, though neither Sasuke nor Sakura were particularly pleased with the fact that he was taking a break while they were still working. "I KNOW!" Naruto grinned much too smugly for their tastes as he glanced over at Sasuke. "Since _I'll_ be the one in charge of, well, _everything_, I'll make the Bastard the village leaf burner or whatever!"

No one looked very impressed.

"…just get back to work, Naruto."

As Sasuke told Naruto he was an idiot and Naruto (loudly) defended his "super effin awesome _thank you very much_" idea, Sakura slowed down in her raking. She was tired. Sure, they were all tired but when she was _that_ tired, she didn't quite care about her teammates. She wanted a break, and seeing the way Naruto and Sasuke were fighting (as per usual), she had a pretty good plan.

When round thirty-three died down, Sakura smiled at Naruto. "Wow, Naruto, you rake _so_ fast!"

"Uh…" Naruto blushed because _holy crap_, Sakura was talking to him. And _complimenting _him! "T—thanks, Sakura-chan!"

Then Sakura pouted. "I wish I could rake as fast as you…" She sighed and got back to work. Naruto did the same, occasionally sneaking peeks at Sakura and then reddening and looking away.

When Sasuke sent a dirtier than usual look Naruto's way while raking even faster, Sakura inwardly smirked. So ten minutes later she sauntered closer to Sasuke and smiled at him mock-shyly.

"Sasuke-kun, you're so good at this. You're getting everything done before any of us!"

"Hn." Sasuke barely repressed his smirk before suddenly glaring at Naruto, who was suddenly working harder.

Sakura smiled freely, knowing that both boys were too busy trying to rake faster than the other to notice her much too smug demeanour. She was so caught up in revelling in the fact that she no longer really had to do anything that she didn't notice when Kakashi was standing beside her until he spoke.

"That wasn't very nice, Sakura-chan."

Sakura stiffened. Her grin faltered momentarily but she calmed herself down and looked up at her sensei confusedly. "What do you mean, sensei?"

"Playing with the boys like that," he elaborated. Kakashi wasn't sure if he should lecture her or not on teamwork because really, her manipulations _did_ lead to the mission getting done much faster.

She scowled before pouting. "But _sensei_!" she whined. "I'm training them while we're still in Konoha, where it is safer to learn that all it takes is a few compliments to turn teammates against each other for the enemy's benefit." Sakura nodded eagerly. "It's for the good of the team. Really."

"Really?"

"_Really_."

Kakashi was about to speak but someone (much) louder cut him off.

"HA! MY PILE IS BIGGER THAN YOURS, BASTARD!"

Suddenly there was a fire jutsu shot in Naruto's (and his pile's) general direction. "Not anymore, idiot."

"UGH! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS."

"Tch, I'd like to see you try."

Sakura raised an eyebrow at Kakashi, who was surveying the growing fire and the damage Naruto and Sasuke's scuffle was leaving on their client's property. "See what I mean?"

Kakashi sighed. "Yeah."

"_RASENGAN_!"

"_CHIDORI_!"


	6. the one with the fortunes

**title:** the one with the fortunes  
**author:** ohwhatsherface  
**note:** sorry. it implies sasusaku a little.  
**disclaimer:** disclaimed.

* * *

Sasuke was bored. Really, really bored. His teammates, however, were not. Rather, they were foolishly hanging on every word that came from that freaky, eccentric-looking so-called _fortune teller_, Madame Choo.

She already told Naruto that he would be in a position of great power one day and would be admired by all. Before that, she told Sasuke he would make a dire decision with grave consequences but find redemption after many trials. Then she added offhandedly that he'd have seven kids and that it was unclear if he'd have more after that.

_Right_.

At the moment, she was talking to Sakura.

"You will marry a strong ninja."

Sakura carried out the expected gasp and shocked expression. When Madame Choo didn't seem to have anything else to add, Sakura not so subtly prompted her to continue:

"…_and_?"

Madame Choo raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean 'and'?"

Sakura looked rather disappointed for someone who was just told she was going to marry big. She shrugged. "Well, I mean, _of course_ I'm going to marry a strong ninja. I wouldn't settle for anything less." Then she smiled and eagerly leaned closer to the old fortune teller. "Now tell me something about him I never would've guessed please!"

Madame Choo managed to refrain from looking completely insulted. Taking Sakura's wish for elaboration as doubt, she muttered, "Listen, kid, my words are truth."

Naruto grinned. "Damn freaking straight they are… er, will be?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Yes. Of _course_ I'm going to have seven kids. Maybe even a dozen."

Sakura waved a hand at them, motioning for the two to _shut the hell up_. All the while, she kept her gaze on Madame Choo. "I mean, could you tell me something more specific? Like… what village is he from?"

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouted. "He's gonna be from Konoha, of course!" he declared, obviously not talking about himself. _Obviously_.

She pouted. "Well, what if he's like… a foreign prince or something? Or a mysterious missing-nin who wants me to elope with him?" Sakura nearly rolled her eyes at Naruto's stupidity. These were perfectly plausible ideas, so she no clue what Naruto's problem was.

"He'll be very strong, yes, but overall he'll be a regular ninja, kid," Madame Choo said. She stiffened suddenly, indicating she got another message from the Great Beyond or where ever. "Although he _will_ be rich." Madame Choo nodded. "_Very_ rich."

Sakura sighed. Clearly this woman wasn't going to give her anything useful. "That's nice and all, but that doesn't _really_ matter…" Sakura's cheeks reddened as she twiddled her thumbs. "This strong ninja guy… are we happy together?"

Madame Choo frowned. "What?"

"Like, does he love me?"

Sasuke cringed the moment he heard 'love' uttered. It was sort of instinctive for him to react violently at the word since it usually came alongside things like 'Sasuke-kun, will you be my boyfriend?' and obnoxious giggles.

He sighed loudly. "Sakura. Really. You can't actually believe the crap this woman is saying."

Sakura looked torn between laughing and saying what he wanted to hear, and telling him to shut up so Madame Choo could answer her question.

"Um," Sakura mumbled. She smiled. "Uh…"

Sasuke rolled his eyes for the nth time and put some money down on the fortune teller's table to pay for the so-called predictions. Then he grabbed Naruto and Sakura and dragged them out of Madame Choo's tent. He didn't need to hear some crap about Naruto becoming Hokage or whatever. And he most _certainly_ didn't need to hear about Sakura falling in love with some "strong ninja."

He snorted, thinking about how he'd _obviously_ be much stronger.

(Not that he cared or whatever.)


	7. the chubby bunny one

**title:** the chubby bunny one  
**author:** ohwhatsherface  
**note:** i never under understood the point of this game but... yeah. go for it. or watch people play it.  
**disclaimer:** i do not own naruto. or chubby bunny.

* * *

"It's called Chubby Bunny."

Sasuke frowned at the campfire-sized marshmallows on the table. "It already sounds stupid."

"Nu uh!" Naruto yelled, sticking his tongue out at Sasuke. Then he beamed at Sakura. "Nothing Sakura-chan comes up with is stupid, you bastard. _You're_ stupid!"

"Very original," Sasuke dryly commented. "Do you have more? Please, go on."

"Why you—"

"ANYWAY," Sakura interrupted to prevent a brawl from starting, "basically you have to fit a marshmallow in your mouth and then say 'chubby bunny,' but if you can't do it then you're out. Whoever's left just keeps adding more marshmallows and saying 'chubby bunny' until someone wins. The only rule is that there's no swallowing the marshmallows."

"I see," Sasuke said after a moment of silence. "And what is the point of this game?"

There were many answers Sakura had in mind: "For my amusement." "For teamwork." "For revenge because you two asstards went with the 'Sakura, protect the irritating little girl of a client because you have ovaries and she has ovaries therefore you'll _obviously_ get along perfectly (but that's not true at all)' on the last mission."

But she settled with, "For… fun?"

Ever the loyalist, Naruto grinned and eagerly nodded. "It'll be _awesome_! I'm _soooo_ going to kick Sasuke's ass at this."

Sasuke snorted. "You wish."

Glaring at each other, the two went for the marshmallows.

After giving up by the second round, Sakura watched the two, pleased with her work. She had no clue what moron found pride in being able fit marshmallows in their mouth while drooling and coming close to choking but understood the competitive streak between her two teammates.

"Chu—ee—bu—ee!"

"Ch—chu—ee—bu—ay!"

She barely held back her smile when they reached for more marshmallows.

Morons.


	8. the one where sakura has a lovely smile

**title:** the one where sakura has a lovely smile  
**author:** ohwhatsherface  
**note:** i'm really sorry. as much as i try to make these drabbles team seven centric and focus on their friendship, i'm totally biased and always end up sneaking in a bit of sasusaku. and i'm not very subtle about it either. oh whell.  
**disclaimer:** i do not own naruto.

* * *

"You have a lovely smile."

Sakura, about to put another chocolate pretzel in her mouth, stopped midway and frowned, dropping the grin she'd been donning. "Huh?" she asked, confused.

There was a boy standing across from her. No, not a boy, she corrected. She wouldn't say a _man_, but he was surely a year or two older than her, she knew that much. Teen, she settled for. He was tall and had a tan, which wasn't surprising given the sunny location they were in. His eyes were bright blue, standing out from beneath his dark bangs.

He blushed. "Uh..." With an uneasy laugh, he rubbed the back of his neck. "I mean..." He stopped and cleared his throat. "Right. Do you know which way the docks are?"

Sakura raised a sceptical brow and pointed past his shoulder. "Behind you," she replied, smiling.

"Oh!" He continued his awkward laughter until he simply sighed and his shoulders drooped. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "You probably think I'm an idiot."

"Not at all," Sakura teased.

"You're smiling again though," he said, doing the same. "I'm glad. Has anyone ever told you that you've got a beautiful smile?"

Sakura's cheeks reddened at the compliment. "W—well, no, not really." Sakura tried not to cringe at her awkwardness.

He frowned. "Really? Then you should dump that lucky bastard you're with if he's so blind."

"Oh." Sakura looked away, embarrassed. "I don't have a boyfriend."

"You don't?" He sounded surprised. "That's crazy! You're beautiful. I mean..." He sighed. "Well, uh, then," A nervous gulp made him pause, "well, would you uh, go on a date with me?"

* * *

A short distance away, Naruto and Sasuke were watching the entire scene unfold.

Naruto scowled at the boy who was blatantly ogling _his_ Sakura-chan. "That bastard!" Naruto muttered, pointing. He went unnoticed, thankfully. If Sakura saw him pointing again, she'd probably twist his finger like the last time and that had _really_ hurt. "Oi, other bastard!" he called, looking at Sasuke, "we have to go save Sakura-chan!"

Sasuke, who was equally irked (but managed to conceal that better), frowned back at Naruto. "Why?" Sasuke spat. "She looks perfectly comfortable to me."

"Well she's _obviously_ faking it," Naruto pointed out with a roll of his eyes. "Sakura-chan is just really nice like that, remember?"

Sasuke scoffed. "If she wants to fool around with random guys she meets, it's not _my_ problem."

"What's _wrong _with you?" Naruto inquired, looking at the Uchiha wearily. "You're being bitchier than usual—"

"Idiot, stop wasting my time," he sneered.

Sasuke glanced over at where Sakura was talking to some random guy and his scowl darkened. Her smile reached her eyes as she giggled and covered her mouth with her hand. Her body language showed she was relaxed and actually _comfortable_ with that stranger. The boy, on the other hand, appeared nervous and bashful.

_Coward_, Sasuke thought, annoyed.

"What's wrong with Sasuke?" he heard Kakashi ask Naruto when he returned. He'd gone to deliver Team Seven's package to whoever their client was and kindly let the three explore the port city. Naruto, however, was about ninety percent sure his so-called generosity had nothing to do with being nice; he'd over heard some other jounin with a senbon in his mouth telling Kakashi about their client's "awesome rack" and how "easy" she was.

"Who cares about Sasuke?" Naruto bellowed. "Some creep is harassing Sakura-chan, sensei! We have to go rescue her!"

Kakashi glanced at Sakura who was now playing with her hair and biting her lip to suppress a smile. Kakashi barely contained his amusement. "I don't think Sakura-chan wants to be rescued, Naruto."

Naruto gaped at Kakashi. "WHAT? Not you too, Kaka-sensei! WE NEED TO _SAVE_ HER!"

"Save who?"

Naruto whipped his gaze over to Sakura and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Sakura-chan! You're okay! What'd that bastard want? Should I go beat him up? Because I can if you—" He was cut off when Sakura smacked him. "OW!"

Sakura rolled her eyes. "He wasn't bothering me, Naruto. And don't call him a bastard."

"What the hell?" Naruto pouted. "Don't tell me you actually _like_ that loser!"

Sakura blushed. "Well—I mean..."

"Is there something you'd like to tell us, Sakura-chan?" Kakashi asked calmly, though at the moment, he was feeling just as protective as Naruto.

"No," she mumbled. Sakura made a sound of frustration and crossed her arms. "_No_."

Kakashi wagged a finger. "Now, now, Sakura-chan, I _do_ know when you kids lie to me."

"I'm not!" Sakura protested. "I mean..." She sighed. "He asked me out, but obviously I said 'no.'" To her annoyance, all three looked quite surprised by her admission. "Well, it's very unprofessional to fool around with strangers while on a mission!" she irritably explained.

"...indeed," Kakashi said, looking mildly offended.

"Well what about teammates?" Naruto asked none too subtly.

"W—w—_what_?" Sakura reddened even further, darting her gaze between Naruto, who she was supposed to answer, and her one true l—her _crush_, who was staring at the ocean, bored. "WELL, OF COURSE. NOT. _OFCOURSENOT_."

Kakashi could only sigh as Sakura punched Naruto across the street.

Beside him, Sasuke smirked.


	9. the really, really bad one

**title:** the really, really bad one  
**author:** ohwhatsherface  
**note:** this is like a year old. it's based off a joke my english prof told us in my lecture last year.  
**warning:** possibly offensive?  
**disclaimer:** i do not own naruto.

* * *

Although Team Seven was young, they knew some of the basics of torture and interrogation. They knew that there were strong ones like Naruto and Sasuke who were too proud to give in to a beating, but deep down, were softies. Their weakness would be watching Sakura get tortured... or _worse_.

This was why after the initial beatings and interrogations, Naruto was feeling rather frantic. He hadn't missed the smile the biggest and burliest looking man among their captors sent Sakura's way.

And he _certainly_ didn't miss the way that sick bastard practically licked Sakura's neck.

"Don't worry, Sakura-chan!" Naruto said loudly. He barely concealed his wince when the pain from his broken ribs kicked in. "We'll get through this!"

Sakura simply looked at him, not quite reacting. Her jaw was tightly clenched, as if to keep from sobbing.

After a moment, Sasuke noticed tears in her eyes that did not fall and looked away. He hated seeing her cry. "Be strong, Sakura," he muttered, the guilt in his voice was evident. He stared at the floor angrily, clearly thinking along the same lines as Naruto.

Both boys struggled with their bonds as Sakura stood in her shackles limply, obviously frightened. This only drove them to thrash harder.

"H—he said he was gay!" she blurted out frantically.

Naruto and Sasuke froze.

"...what."

"N—no... No. No. _Just no_." Naruto looked horrified. "NO WAY! HE TOTALLY LICKED YOU!"

"No!" Sakura denied tearfully. "He said he knew I had lotion in my pack and was going to get it and _oh, my god_ I am so sorry, you guys!" Sakura took a deep breath and suppressed any further sobs.

If she looked up, she would've seen her teammates turning unhealthily purple. And stopped breathing.

"You'll get through this!" she told them, trying to sound tough. "Be strong!"

Seconds later, the door was thrown open, their captor walking in with a tube lotion in his hand and a leer on his face.

"Hello, boys..."


	10. the one without any shirts

**title:** the one without any shirts  
**author:** ohwhatsherface  
**note: **high five if you can see the crossover here  
**disclaimer:** i do not own naruto

.

* * *

"Why is there a guy stripping in the middle of the street?"

Sakura looked up at Naruto's odd question, following his gaze. And lo and behold in the middle of the village Team Seven was stopping at was a man—

_Damn _straight_ he's a man_, Sakura thought, biting her lip and merry giggle.

—taking off his pants.

Then his shirt.

Beside her, Sasuke scoffed at the indecency, unsurprising given his conservative and traditional upbringing. Then again, Sasuke was one of the most "disrespectful shits" (Kakashi-sensei's words) that Sakura had ever met, so—

Sakura was taken out of her fantasy (it involved the stripping guy, her hands, and his abs) by a horrified shriek. "_GRAY_!" the person screamed. Sakura blinked, watching as a blonde girl who looked like she could compete with Ino for the Most Exposed Flesh award. "Put your clothes on!"

"YEAH, MAN!" the other guy yelled. "You're going to scare everyone away!"

The stripper in question ignored them. Instead, he stretched, almost making Sakura drool.

_Oh, dear god_...

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled, none too pleased with Sakura's blatant gawking. He put his hands over Sakura's eyes. "I must preserve your innocence!"

Sakura rolled her eyes—though Naruto couldn't tell—and batted his hands away. There was a beach not too far from the small strip of streets where Kakashi had abandoned them (Naruto predicted he was flirting with the dango shop waitress), so there were a few shirtless males walking around. Sakura didn't see what Naruto's problem was.

"Naruto, if you don't get your hands out of my face, I'll kick your ass," she threatened.

Really.

There was a hot male to checked out.

Reluctantly, Naruto complied, and Sakura failed to suppress her school girl giggle when her gaze returned to Stripper Boy's naked chest. And arms. And abs. _And abs_—

"WHAT THE HELL?"

Sakura scowled. She glared at Naruto for being so obnoxious and taking her out of her fantasy a second time.

"PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON, BASTARD!"

Sakura blinked. _What?_

She looked to where Naruto was gaping (with mild disgust, at that) to see what he was freaking out over and—

_OH, DEAR GOD_.

"Sasuke-kun!" she shrieked at his abs. "Put your shirt back on!" Sakura half-heartedly ordered his muscles.

Sasuke barely suppressed his smirk. "No. It's hot."

_Damn right you are._

"Uh..." Sakura awkwardly cleared her throat. "Um. Okay then. I mean, if that's what you want. Yeah. Uh..."

Feeling left out, Naruto reached for the hem of his shirt.


	11. the one with the boy band

**title: **the one with the boy band  
**note: **since I know absolutely nothing about what's going on in the manga at the moment, writing about little team seven seems to be the best idea.  
**other note: **TWENTY-YEARS-OLD AND I STILL LOVE BOY BANDS. LIKE SORRY I JUST CAN'T.  
**disclaimer: **I do not own naruto.

* * *

Technically she wasn't doing anything wrong.

Kakashi never said anything _against_ exploring the town. In fact, his "why don't we all just _relax_ tonight" and the additional pervy leer directed to the waitress that winked at him sort of really _encouraged _Sakura's current mission. Yes. This was her relaxing. There was no need for her to feel guilty or like she was doing anything wrong because she wasn't.

She _wasn't_.

Yet there she was moving as silently as a mouse to get to the window and—

"What are you doing?" Sakura jumped and clutched at her heart. She turned around to see Sasuke examining her current attire: black (short) shorts, a t-shirt with "1D" on it, and absolutely no weapons on her. Her headband was even gone and her hair was pulled into a high ponytail. He frowned. "Where are you going, Sakura?"

Naruto stirred from his futon and sat up. "Guys, shut—" He paused when he noticed Sakura's change in clothes. "What are you wearing?"

Sakura immediately flushed from embarrassment and frustration.

"Just… my _pyjamas_, Naruto," she hissed. She turned to Sasuke. "And I'm going for a walk," Sakura said casually, moving towards the open window. "I can't sleep."

Sasuke grabbed her wrist before she could get away. He pulled her closer and grabbed her chin, tilting her face so he could lack at her. He ignored the blush on her cheeks and how inappropriate his actions were probably were. "You're wearing make-up."

Sakura slapped his hand away and glared.

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto said carefully. "Where are you going?"

"For a _walk_."

"In short shorts?" Sasuke asked with a snort.

"They're not _that_ short—YES, IN MY SHORTS."

Sasuke glared at her. "You're lying."

"No I'm not."

Even Naruto looked skeptical. "Can I come with, Sakura-chan?"

"No!" Sakura immediately shouted. "I mean…"

Sasuke moved towards her like a predator closing in on its prey, only aggravating Sakura further. "Where are you_ really_ going, Sakura?"

"OH, ENOUGH ALREADY!" Sakura yelled, crossing her arms. "I JUST WANT TO GO TO THAT FREE ONE DIRECTION CONCERT TONIGHT, OKAY? OKAY? IS THAT SO WRONG? NARUTO YOU HAVE RAMEN AND SASUKE YOU HAVE… YEAH. I HAVE BOY BANDS. GOD. _GOD_."

Both boys blinked. "What?"

Sakura sighed. "There's this free concert at the park tonight and… I wanted to go. I didn't know they'd be here. Okay, that was a lie. I just didn't actually think we'd stop here the same night as the concert and oh my _god_ I have to go."

Naruto was the one to break the awkward silence with a loud laugh. "Really, Sakura-chan? Boy bands?"

Sasuke wore a similar look of disbelief.

Sakura could only clench her fists.

"WHATEVER. SCREW YOU GUYS. I'M GOING OUT."


	12. the bloody one

**title:** the bloody one  
**note:** I personally don't understand why some guys (and girls) are weirded out by the sight of, say, a box of tampons. Or heck even the _mention_ of them! I keep mine out in the open because my bathroom is _my_ bathroom so screw catering to anyone else and their fear of glorified sponges.

* * *

Sakura tried not to roll her eyes at her teammates. Both were staring at her suspiciously from their places by the window, arms crossed, and lips pulled into straight lines. Apparently they were trying to look intimidating, but after countless nights accompanied by Naruto's snoring and Sasuke's drooling, she wasn't particularly fazed by them.

"I'm going for a walk," she said, stepping towards the door instead.

"A _walk_?"

Sakura scowled at Sasuke's raised eyebrow. "Yes. A _walk_."

Naruto shook his head and pointed at her. "But you're wearing your short shorts again!"

"…THEY AREN'T THAT SHORT." Sakura took a deep breath to try calming herself down. "Listen, I know you think I lied last time—"

"You _did_ lie last time."

"—but I am legitimately going for a walk this time."

Neither boy was moved.

"To the drug store, that is," she clarified. "It's like last time when I _walked_ to the park because _I did not lie_."

Naruto leaned against the door when he saw her grab the knob. "But why are you going to the drug store, Sakura-chan?"

"Because I _am_!" Sakura hissed. Now was so not the time for an interrogation, but her teammates were idiots and couldn't read body language unless they were in the middle of a battle.

"I see," Sasuke drawled. "Then if you're just going to the drug store, I don't suppose you'd mind if we came along?"

"Oh, for the love of—" Sakura took another deep breath but its soothing effect was lost on her. She counted to ten before smiling at them sweetly. "You know what? Sure. You can totally tag along. Or, even better, you can go for me and I'll just stay up in this dinky little hotel room because you two think I'm going to do something horrible!"

Sasuke smirked when Naruto called her bluff. "Sure thing, Sakura-chan. What do you want?"

She grinned maniacally.

"Tampons."


	13. the one with the interviews

**title:** the one with the interviews  
**author:** ohwhatsherface  
**note:** I am so mean to Kakashi.  
**disclaimer:** the usual.

* * *

"Who's interviewing us, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked.

Kakashi didn't even look up from his book to answer, certainly not earning him points on Sakura's Scale of Politeness. "Dunno."

It was time for the annual Jounin Sensei Evaluations, apparently. Kakashi hadn't known that day existed until Sakura gave him a dirty look for having arrived three hours late and told him as much. She said that he was to go with them to the Hokage Tower, where the Sandaime and someone else (probably Iruka) would be conducting an interview to evaluate his skill as a jounin instructor.

Frankly, Kakashi didn't care what the three said. If they made him sound good, then fine. And if they made him sound bad... well then he probably wouldn't even be saddled with another group of little shits ever again.

Kakashi almost jumped for joy at the prospect.

Then again, they also could punish him for being a bad instructor by making him do it again and give some lame "practice makes perfect, Kakashi" excuse.

Damn.

Still, the results of the interview could only be given after the interview took place. And that wasn't happening. At all.

He was reminded of how long they'd been waiting (they'd arrived to the building ten minutes ago) when Sasuke sighed in annoyance.

Kakashi looked at the clock, bored. "I swear we're on time."

"You're early, actually." Kakashi looked over to the Sandaime, who was coming down the hall with Iruka behind him. Iruka was looking down with at the clipboard in one hand and scribbling away on it with the other.

"Yo," he greeted, when they stopped in front of him. Perhaps being polite would help him out with this stupid evaluation.

Neither of them replied, however. Instead, Iruka stared back for a moment and mumbled as he wrote, "Failure to arrive to first appointment."

Kakashi frowned. "'First'?"

"I booked us two appointments, Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura piped up with a wide grin. "Our original one was at noon, but I knew you'd be three hours late, as per usual, so I booked one for three-fifteen just to be safe!" _Trust Sakura to be the suck up_, Kakashi thought. He glanced at the Sandaime, who did not look pleased with the situation. _And make me look bad. _He decided Sakura would be doing extra laps around Konoha tomorrow morning. Hmph.

"Come inside," Iruka told the three.

When Kakashi moved to enter, the Sandaime pulled him by the back of his shirt. "Where are you going?"

Kakashi looked at the genin. "Uh... inside?"

He shook her head. "Kakashi, you don't get to _stay_ for the evaluation. Come back in an hour."

Kakashi seemed mildly crestfallen. How _else_ was going to give them threatening stares to make sure they said the right thing. Then again—

He was brought out of his thoughts when the door slammed shut.

Damn.

* * *

"Is this going to take long? I'm kinda hungry..."

Sasuke rolled his eyes at Naruto's utter lack of respect. And stupidity. God.

Iruka rolled his eyes. "Shut up and sit down, Naruto."

Naruto looked ready to protest, but stopped when Sasuke, who was on his left, punched his knee, and Sakura, on his other side, pushed him into his seat. The Hokage smiled. It would seem Kakashi taught them some level of teamwork, at least.

"We will begin with a few questions you guys can answer together," Iruka said, moving into a chair at the side of the desk. "Afterwards, we'll do some individual interviews, okay?"

They nodded and she looked down to the standard list of questions.

"Let's get started."

* * *

"Naruto, why don't you tell us what training with Kakashi is like?" Iruka began. When Iruka said the individual interviews would begin, Naruto jumped up and said he'd be going first without a second glance to his teammates.

Naruto snorted. "Wouldn't know."

The Sandaime raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Well he's with Sasuke all the time," Naruto pointed out. "Like, _always_. They always go off together in the forest. No clue what they're doing though." He crossed his arms and pouted. "He's probably teaching the bastard some super secret super awesome technique."

"I see," Iruka mumbled, writing something down.

"It's not fair!" Naruto grumbled. "The bastard _always_ come back all rumpled and worn out and shit! Kaka-sensei is _always_ with Sasuke! Ugh! Why does _he_ get all the action?"

The Sandaime couldn't help but chuckle. "Now, now, Naruto. I'm sure _you_ have gotten some action as well."

Naruto paused. He tried to think back on his time with Team Seven, scratching his thin thoughtfully. "Well, there is one thing Kaka-sensei showed me!"

Iruka looked intrigued. "And what was that?"

"Well…" Naruto grinned evilly. "It's sort of this super cool, super evil sort of jutsu called the One Thousand Years of Pain technique where—"

Iruka scribbled furiously as Naruto continued to explain this "special" jutsu he'd learned from Kakashi.

What the hell was wrong with this team?

* * *

"So, Sasuke, Naruto says you do a lot of training with Kakashi."

Sasuke tilted his head ever so slightly at Iruka, wondering where the questions were. He didn't really care for whatever a moron like _Naruto_ had to say. When Iruka only continued to stare at him and the Sandaime appeared more interested in puffing out rings of smoke, Sasuke rolled his eyes and mumbled an affirmation, assuming that was what they wanted.

"What do you think of Kakashi as a jounin instructor, Sasuke?"

What did he think of Kakashi? Sasuke almost snorted. Kakashi was many things. Kakashi was a skilled shinobi but as a teacher, he was certainly irritating, to be concise. He showed up late to training sessions, he showed up late for missions, he _left_ on missions whenever a waitress winked his way, he was always reading his stupid ass porn book, he had an annoying habit of disappearing on them, he—

"He is adequate."

The Sandaime raised an eyebrow at hi. "Adequate?" Apparently "adequate" wasn't used all too often to describe _the_ Hatake Kakashi.

Sasuke only nodded once.

Iruka chuckled. "Well, Hokage-sama, Kakashi can't be perfect in _everything_." Iruka moved onto his next question: "What has he taught you so far?"

Sasuke shrugged. "A few things."

"…like?"

"Chakra control, some jutsu, survival techniques."

When Sasuke made no move to elaborate from his vague and oh so irritating answer, Iruka couldn't help but realize that on the contrary, Uchiha Sasuke picked up a lot more from his sensei than he knew.

How unfortunate.

* * *

Iruka smiled at the last member of Team Seven that he had to interview. Sakura had always been such a sweet girl and was always good when it came to answering questions about _anything_, so he was sure _this_ interview wouldn't leave him utterly exasperated.

"So, Sakura, what have you learned from Kakashi so far?"

"Lots of things!" Sakura replied with a wide smile.

"Could you give me an example, please?" Iruka asked.

"Sure!" she chirped. Sakura thought back over the last bunch of months she'd been on Team Seven. "He's taught me..." Sakura paused. "Well, I mean, there was... see, he showed me... um... I—uh—" Sakura laughed awkwardly. "Um, I'm so sorry, Iruka-sensei, Hokage-sama! Just... nothing is coming to mind."

"Surely there's _something_," the Sandaime said, frowning. He refused to believe Sakura Haruno got nothing special out of her time as _the_ Hatake Kakashi's student.

Iruka nodded. "Yes, we all know about Sasuke's Chidori, and Naruto's... One Thousand Years of Pain..."

"Of course," Sakura said. "Well, Kakashi-sensei has taught me... um..."

"Sakura?" Iruka frowned. "Sakura, what has Kakashi taught you so far?"

"...I don't understand the question."

* * *

Kakashi looked up from his erotica when he heard the doors open. His students all came out of the evaluation room looking rather relieved to be done with the interviews. Iruka stepped out behind them and scowled at Kakashi.

"So," Kakashi began, unable to keep from smiling. "Am I the best teacher ever or what?"

Iruka snorted as he ushered Team Seven over to Kakashi.

"Make the most of it with these ones. You're not getting another batch for a very long time."


	14. the one with just one boy

Sakura stifled her laughter as she stared at her teammates.

_Or is it just 'teammate' now?_

He/they alternated between glaring at her, and looking rather sad and pathetic and ridiculously frustrated.

"Sakura, please stop laughing," Kakashi chided with sigh.

Blue eyes narrowed behind black bangs.

At the order, Sakura's mouth opened and her cruel cackles came out even harder. She pointed at the boy in front of her and proceeded to hunch forward, clutching her sides. Sakura's eyes watered and she began to lose her breath.

"I…" she began between joyous snorts and giggles. "I'm… gonna… asphyxiate."

The ridiculed boy huffed. "_Good_," he hissed.

Sakura glanced at him and then laughed even harder.

"Oh, it _hurts_," she whimpered, still snickering.

Kakashi merely smirked behind his book. He could understand the girl's amusement. The Panda Statue of Unity they'd been sent to recover was only _asking_ for trouble. Kakashi made it a point to repeat over and over what two people grabbing onto the statue at the same time would do but apparently only Sakura listened to him.

Really, he couldn't blame girl for enjoying herself so much.

It wasn't everyday that her teammates managed to be dumb enough to get themselves _fused together_.

After what seemed like an hour, Sakura finally regained her composure as she took a few deep breaths to try and calm down. While she felt like she lost quite a lot of her dignity, what she did was _nothing_ in comparison to what happened to—

"So," Sakura began, smiling innocently. "What should we call you, Nasuke or Sasuto?"

The boy lunged.


End file.
